Not Enough

To say I miss you is not enough

To say I love you too much?

I am not worth it

If given the chance I’d surely blow it

I leave disappointment in your eyes

Coldness between your thighs

You deserve the best

Someone who can pass the test

I am a failure

Was unable to endure

Under pressure I let you down

Should have stood my ground

I don’t deserve to be forgiven

Something in me is broken

Fixing me is not worth it

I am a piece of shit

My words are unraveling

As I hoped to make them sing

So let my words ring true

I’ll always love ypu

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Untiled

I feel as if I’m on stand by
Waiting for an action command
Where do I go?
What do I do?
My days are empty of accomplishments
My failures are winning the battle
My confident is losing the war
I close my eyes hoping for a win
I close my eyes fearing it’ll be the end
My smiles are fake and broken
My depression goes unspoken
I use my mask to protect my soul
For the world is so very cold

Special

I want to feel safe. I want you to think I am special. I savior our time no matter how long or short. I don’t want to ruin your holiday so I’ll be your court jester. I don’t want to harsh your buzz, so I’ll put my feelings and wants on hold. I’ll make sure you are having a great evening, at no cost to you. You’ll be happy and smiling, if it’s the last thing I do. I do not dare ask for anything in return. I don’t want you to feel obligated. No one asked me to make you feel special. So why should I?

Now or Forever

I want you to miss me. To say it without me mention it first. I just want to be held in your arms. Is that so wrong? To want you to run your fingers through my hair as you tell me you love me. I was scared to say those 3 little words. To open my bandage heart to you. I have left myself vulnerable to you so be kind. I always want what I can’t have. So are you never or forever?