WIP: Izzy

The following is something I am currently writing but it is unfinished. I plan to add more to the story. I am wanting feedback. Some ideas I had didn’t make this draft for the high school part. Such as Izzy and Amelia being best friends since high school or the friends Izzy did have leaving her because she didn’t grow out of her “phase”. 

As far as what’s next in the story, I have things that need to happen but unsure how to play them out so far. Izzy’s girlfriend is mention in the start. Who is she and how do they meant? Was it love at first sight? Izzy has only been with men but has she felt attracted to women in the past? I know the answers but finding the right way to play it out is difficult. Also must explain how Izzy and Amelia become friends. Would be easier if they met in school or college. I’m still thinking of ideas. 

Either way please enjoy. 

 

 

Hello, my name is Isabella Shaw, but my friends call me Izzy. I am writing this because my beautiful girlfriend insisted that I do it. I don’t know why but rest assured, I’ll force her to as well! Now where do I start?

I grew up in the south. Hearing stories about superheroines engaging in great battles against villainous baddies. They were the ultimate good vs evil. When I was a kid, my brother and I would pretend to be heroes and villains.

Despite being told these stories were nothing more than fairy tails. I always believed in them. I found the fascinating and inspiring. Of course as I grew older, my classmates felt that this was something to tease me about.

It started in middle school but really picked up steam in high school. Openingly mock me in class. Trip me in the hallways. Teachers seem to look at me as if I did something wrong. Luckily, I thought at least, I meat a cute boy named Jacob Taylor. Tall dark and handsome. Yes please! He didn’t look at me strange or treat me like a child. He was 3 years ahead of me and full of himself but it was somehow charming. We hit it off fast and I fell hard. We started dating and it was all great in the beginning.

After a couple of months, he started pressuring me. He wanted sex. I wasn’t ready but I didn’t want yo disappoint him. So I decided to gave him a blow job. It did please him and he’d ask for them almost daily.

That winter I gave him my virginity. Few weeks later, on my birthday, I discovered he was cheating on me with another senior. I was heart broken. I had no one to confide in but a friend I made online.

The day before prom he dumped me and took the exchange student instead. Jacob liked to keep me around until he found someone new. Once he finished with them he come back to me. He knew how to play me and I was stupid enough to fall for it. I wanted to believe him. Anytime I tried to move on, he was there making me feel guilty for it.

My remaining school years I kept to myself. Writing was my escape from the world of havoc. Writing poetry of my feelings or stories of space adventures. It’s what got me through high school. I loved it so much that I wanted to become an author. That would be my goal. A novel. Until perhaps I could write a blog? Maybe there was someone out there who believed as I do.

Jacob had graduated my freshman year but we were off and on for years. Any other relationships I had or tried to have, didn’t last long. If I was going to truly move on, I needed to get away. So once I got a job, I started saving. Once I had enough money, I made plans to move up north.

– E

Untiled

I feel as if I’m on stand by
Waiting for an action command
Where do I go?
What do I do?
My days are empty of accomplishments
My failures are winning the battle
My confident is losing the war
I close my eyes hoping for a win
I close my eyes fearing it’ll be the end
My smiles are fake and broken
My depression goes unspoken
I use my mask to protect my soul
For the world is so very cold

Special

I want to feel safe. I want you to think I am special. I savior our time no matter how long or short. I don’t want to ruin your holiday so I’ll be your court jester. I don’t want to harsh your buzz, so I’ll put my feelings and wants on hold. I’ll make sure you are having a great evening, at no cost to you. You’ll be happy and smiling, if it’s the last thing I do. I do not dare ask for anything in return. I don’t want you to feel obligated. No one asked me to make you feel special. So why should I?

Now or Forever

I want you to miss me. To say it without me mention it first. I just want to be held in your arms. Is that so wrong? To want you to run your fingers through my hair as you tell me you love me. I was scared to say those 3 little words. To open my bandage heart to you. I have left myself vulnerable to you so be kind. I always want what I can’t have. So are you never or forever?